“Dog in The Park,” by Maddog Mattern

Ahhh, the animals are out tonight. A basehead that looks like Quest Love with a beard that hasn’t touched soap since Bush was in his first term is searching for rocks on third avenue. His eyes are menacing like Pennywise’s in “IT.”A mugging would be a good score for him but he can’t. The law is around. He walks by four cops in a huddle on fifth who aren’t protecting. They are hunting. For each other. Two males. Two females. A thousand hormones. The males want to bang the females so they can have something to brag about to the “boys.” The females want to bang the males so they can feel like they are apart of the “boys.”
At the corner of sixth several cabs desperately slow down and beg me to jump in. When I say no they call me a tease and tell me where to stick it. Where are they when I am waving and need them? On seventh walks a transvestite with face full of make up that would make Tammy Fae Baker jealous. There’s enough ectasy in her/him that she/he doesn’t remeber that there is a penis between those two stumbling legs. A few steps later the bridge and tunnel posse are dressed like classy losers in a Lady Gaga look-a-like contest. They are looking for food and someone to yell at after leaving a hot spot in the meatpacking district. Soon these two Cinderellas will realize it’s past midnight and that there pumpkin chariot will only take them to work somewhere down the shore. Thugs are all over. They are only pea cocking tonight. It’s too nice out to actually work.

The weather is fantastic. Depending on who you ask it’s a warm winter or a cool spring. And depending on who you ask it’s a late Sunday evening or a way too early Monday morn. It doesn’t matter. It’s perfect. No matter who you ask it’s 14th street in Manhattan. And babies walking it right now sure beats a kick in the ass.

Tags: 14th street in Manhattan, Dog in the Park, Lady Gaga, Maddog Mattern, maddog mattern's blog, maddog's blog, Midnight in Garden of Good and the L, The Comedy point's maddog

This entry was posted on Monday, March 8th, 2010 at 6:25 am and is filed under Soul Joel's Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.