First Dates
Beauty: Kendra Cunningham
Some people like dating. I know girls who treat it like a part time job, going on dates every Tuesday and Thursday nights and sometimes Saturday. They sift through the rubble of New York men with hope and determination. They have 90 percent more first dates than second dates and most of the dates consist of coffee or a light snack, some sort of environment where you just talk and exchange information about each other. The beginnings of an excavation.
I haven’t been on a date all year so technically, I am not dating. If I was allowed to ask guys out without being considered too aggressive, controlling, and a little nuts, my first date plans would include fun things like
- Concerts
- What you learn about him: how he handles big crowds, his music tastes, his opinions on drugs and alcohol, his dance moves, what he wears to concerts
- Fishing
- What you learn about him: manners ( does he help you with your bait and setiing up your rod and does he even know how to do it), his adaptability to the various mix of people who go out on group fishing excursions, seasickness, sense of humor about wasting a day not catching any fish, if he is way into tanning
- Games
- Darts, pool, Scrabble—What you learn about him: competitiveness, strategy, knowledge and respect of rules of the game, his grasp of the English language, how he handles losing to a woman
But alas I am not in charge.
My advice to guys who ask girls out on a date:
- Have a Plan
- Do not show up saying “ where do you wanna go?” “ are you hungry?” “got any movies?”Not a good way to start a first date. Make a decision before hand. Be in charge and have a schedule but be amenable to changes.
- Don’t treat her like a buddy
- Do not show up for a first date in shorts with a misplaced baseball cap unless the plan is to go play hoops, which could be a fun first date but should definitely be planned before hand. Don’t bring her to meet up with your buddies. Now she is on a first date with seven guys, odds are one of them will outshine you.
- Don’t be cheap.
- If your broke, you know your broke. It didn’t just occur to you when the menu was plopped in front of your face. Take your limited funds into consideration and know where you can and cannot afford to go. Be familiar with the prices and expenses of the evening so you don’t have to window shop menus, bum money, or split the bill between three credit cards with limited charging abilities. The hard core truth is, if your broke, don’t date. Do your best to hook up until you have a little money. Strong confident women who can add value to your life don’t want to know you can’t take care of yourself. They’ll probably emasculate you. They can’t help it.
I want to start asking guys out. I would love to hear from women who have done it and what their thoughts are! Feel free to email me at Kendra@kendracunningham.com – thanks for listening! Kisses- Kendra
Beast: Larry Loveless
Dating is not easy now a days even with the increase of technology. It’s good for social networking and dating websites, but it also enables stalkers and people who really want to do research on their date, like a 6th grade science project. The truth is everyone, both male and females, should go into a date with open mind. This is the only way two people can get to know each other is with a clean slate. This means not going into a date having past dates on the mind or thoughts of a person that a friend might have told you.
Do’s:
-Pick a casual dining place that is reasonably priced. Not a 5 star restaurant, but not Burger King either. If she says yes to Wendy’s, hold on to her.
-There should be a lot of opportunity to converse on the first date, if two people can not carry a conversation upon meeting for the first time, then it probably wasn’t meant to be.
-Always offer to pick her up and be a gentlemen, but also expect that she may feel more comfortable meeting at the destination, especially if you two are complete strangers.
-Sticking with the old fashion theme, the male should always offer to pick up the tab on the first date, but at least see if she flinches in the direction of the purse. You don’t want a woman who is out to get a free meal. If she insists on leaving someone, have her leave the tip.
-Make sure you act as much as yourself, as possible. Both people should want to get to know the real person, not a person they think the other person would like.
Don’ts
- Never go to the movies on a first date. It’s not a horrible idea. There opportunity of interaction, if you do then you’re the guy talking in the middle of the movie. How do you expect to know if you will click with someone after 90 minutes of silence? Great for a 3rd or 4th date, if you make it that far. (Let’s keep it real here)
-Try not to move too fast sexually on the first date. We are guys, so it’s expected, but it will probably drive them crazy and get you more respect if you keep it at a kiss good night. Tongue ok.
-Don’t talk too much about yourself, but answer questions if asked. Make sure you do your fair share of listening, as well. Take interest in the other person, not to the point where you are taking notes.
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