Beauty and The Beast: Why?

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– January 19, 2011Posted in: Beauty and The Beast

Question of The Week: Why do good looking men/women end up with less attractive partners?

Beauty: Kendra Cunningham

Any question beginning with the word “why” requires a thesis length response  not a  blog entry.

I “why” half my life away.

I’ll graze the surface:

Why do good looking people end up with less attractive mates?

1. Some people like people based on personality. We are not all of a superficial, one dimensional  character driven by animal instincts. At least that’s what my self help books say.

2.  Less attractive people will openly value the physical attractiveness of their better looking mate. Who doesn’t like to be showered with compliments? Two good looking people may take their looks for granted and not take the time to gush, until one gains twenty pounds or contracts chronic conjunctivitis or gets a bad do, then see how quickly appearance becomes an issue.

3. The better looking mate knows how fickle and flighty good looking people can be. Life is easier for good looking people. Its been proven over and over in sociological studies. A good looking guy who is a massive jerkoff will still get better service than a dude who stares at the floor while he mumbles through his long greasy hair. Consistent special service can make people unappreciative and more likely to fly the coop. They know there are other people who like them. Everywhere.

In the long run people stay together for crazy reasons.  I would wager, in most instances, over eighty percent, couples don’t stay together because they like each other. They stay together for security, comfort, habit, or out of guilt and obligation. I sound like a cynic I know, but I’ve been in long term relationships before and It’s tough to be the breaker upper, even if you realllllllllllly want out.  I always opted for the “push the envelope” strategy. This is when you start doing everything you know the other person can’t stand about you, become distant with him but light up like a Christmas tree when other people are around, start talk about growing and changing in ways you KNOW he won’t like. Basically mind game him into breaking up with me.

The truth is, being in a fulfilling relationship is hard work.  You have to operate in a position of vulnerability and risk to really be IN a relationship. Who likes that? Only unusually secure and emotionally healthy people can make relationships what they are supposed to be.

That’s why I stay in crush mode as long as possible.

It’s has become my comfort zone.

Thanks for listening!

Kisses-

Kendra

Kendra is a stand up comic living in Brooklyn where she owns a super comfortable bed. She spends most of her time wondering where the hell her sugar daddy is and hoping he didn’t settle.

www.kendracunningham.com

www.blondelogicblog.com

The Beast: John Powers

It seems to me that you get what you pay for. “Being attractive is the most important thing there is, if you want to catch the biggest fish in your pond, you have to keep your hair spotless and clean… wash it at least every two weeks…” – Nada Surf, Popular.
Ugly people end up with good-looking people because they try really hard. They accept their physical flaws and do the best they can with what they have. Personality and attitude can be all the difference in being attractive. Some people that are 9′s act like complete assholes, and it drops them down to 7′s (or lower)… Some people that would normally be a 7 get bumped up higher due to friendliness, or sense of humor. “Turns out, playing in a rock band can land you a woman a bit out of your league.” – Chris Cornell.
Sometimes, someone who is very attractive never gets hit on, because everyone assumes they’re not good enough. Take my word for it, actresses and models are some of the most insecure people out there. You’ve probably got a better shot than you’d think.
The prettiest people you know are probably tired of always being around superficial types and enjoy being in a crowd of people who don’t judge.
Everyone questions their own value and status and physical appearance. The best thing you can do is to love yourself. Even some of the hottest of hotties have trouble with that. Take care of yourself, and the rest will fall into place.
PS – a note to the chick at the karaoke bar last Wednesday night, with the rolls spilling from under her belly-tee: Although I’m flattered you find me attractive, I’m way out of your league. Please dedicate your crappy, flat version of Fiona Apple’s “Criminal” to someone else. Thanks.
- John
John Powers is a 28-year-old, heterosexual, single male. He does Graphics for TV by day, and Standup Comedy by night. He enjoys playing and listening to rock music, and sipping on deep red wine.
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