Question of The Week: Why do good looking men/women end up with less attractive partners?
Beauty: Kendra Cunningham
Any question beginning with the word “why” requires a thesis length response not a blog entry.
I “why” half my life away.
I’ll graze the surface:
Why do good looking people end up with less attractive mates?
1. Some people like people based on personality. We are not all of a superficial, one dimensional character driven by animal instincts. At least that’s what my self help books say.
2. Less attractive people will openly value the physical attractiveness of their better looking mate. Who doesn’t like to be showered with compliments? Two good looking people may take their looks for granted and not take the time to gush, until one gains twenty pounds or contracts chronic conjunctivitis or gets a bad do, then see how quickly appearance becomes an issue.
3. The better looking mate knows how fickle and flighty good looking people can be. Life is easier for good looking people. Its been proven over and over in sociological studies. A good looking guy who is a massive jerkoff will still get better service than a dude who stares at the floor while he mumbles through his long greasy hair. Consistent special service can make people unappreciative and more likely to fly the coop. They know there are other people who like them. Everywhere.
In the long run people stay together for crazy reasons. I would wager, in most instances, over eighty percent, couples don’t stay together because they like each other. They stay together for security, comfort, habit, or out of guilt and obligation. I sound like a cynic I know, but I’ve been in long term relationships before and It’s tough to be the breaker upper, even if you realllllllllllly want out. I always opted for the “push the envelope” strategy. This is when you start doing everything you know the other person can’t stand about you, become distant with him but light up like a Christmas tree when other people are around, start talk about growing and changing in ways you KNOW he won’t like. Basically mind game him into breaking up with me.
The truth is, being in a fulfilling relationship is hard work. You have to operate in a position of vulnerability and risk to really be IN a relationship. Who likes that? Only unusually secure and emotionally healthy people can make relationships what they are supposed to be.
That’s why I stay in crush mode as long as possible.
It’s has become my comfort zone.
Thanks for listening!
Kisses-
Kendra
Kendra is a stand up comic living in Brooklyn where she owns a super comfortable bed. She spends most of her time wondering where the hell her sugar daddy is and hoping he didn’t settle.
The Beast: John Powers
It seems to me that you get what you pay for. “Being attractive is the most important thing there is, if you want to catch the biggest fish in your pond, you have to keep your hair spotless and clean… wash it at least every two weeks…” – Nada Surf, Popular.







What candid, direct and helpful thoughts from two very wise and “mature” (and not in like “old”-lol) individuals….
Three quotes, out of many that I could refer to stuck in my head.. First one is from Kendra….and is right on the money…”The truth is, being in a fulfilling relationship is hard work. You have to operate in a position of vulnerability and risk to really be IN a relationship.” I also agree with the statement that “… couples don’t stay together because they like each other. They stay together for security, comfort, habit, or out of guilt and obligation.” This is kind of sad, I know I’ve been there— but not anymore!!!
And John, you’ve mentioned this before and it is probably one of the most true statements…
“Everyone questions their own value and status and physical appearance. The best thing you can do is to love yourself.” It does start in knowing and loving yourself… I find that people are attracted to people who are self-assured, yet compassionate…honest about their strengths and able to recognize their weaknesses…
Thanks so much…I do hope others read today’s blog…I’m going to spread the word now….Who knows who and when I’ll meet someone…..? I’ll just enjoy being who I am! and live life to the fullest!! Thanks…Have a great week…
Here’s a great quote from a new friend that is perfect: “In the end, it’s still best to wait for the one we want rather than settle for what’s available. It’s still best to wait for the one you love rather than to settle for the one who’s around. It’s still best to wait for the right person, because life’s too short to waste on the wrong one.”
It sounds like you’re on the right track, “Chris Z”…
Keep listening to the advice of two single comedians,
and you’ll be on your way to lovers lane in no time!
Hmmmmmmm……interesting point…lol…. !!!!
I enjoyed reading this blog and glad you confirmed what I have been saying all along. It doesn’t matter what is on the inside or the outside but how you work it as a whole. I agree with John and his statement:
“Everyone questions their own value and status and physical appearance. The best thing you can do is to love yourself.”
Thanks Chris Z.’s for posting the quote you got from a new friend…think I might have to use it as one of my statuses…Thanks again to all of you for your wonderful insight.
The question is… what do you rank yourself?
Stay tuned for a rank and re-rank, rank-off…
E-male photos for ranking to:
Rankoff@Johnjpowers.com
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