Hello. Thanks for clicking on a small picture of my face.
You’ve passed the first of my Chester Copperpot “booby-traps”…
Who does this face belong to? A guy sitting at a computer looking for companionship. That’s probably not the best place to be looking for a woman, (and you should be careful about what kind of guys are sitting at computers looking for you) but many people say it works, so why not try it out…
The small picture you’re looking at is merely a fragment of the person whose page you’re visiting. I can tell you now you should waste no more of your time browsing other profiles. Henceforth, this is the only one you will need. Everything you’ve ever wanted in a man is right here on this page. I’m the very definition of tall, dark, and humorous. I’m romantic and chivalrous, while also respectful and unimposing. The ideal balance of masculinity, creativity and intelligence… and quite modest as well.
My family is very important to me. That’s why I live so far away from them. If we were any closer, we’d never want to see each other. I left my parents’ house as soon as possible so I could have women sleep over without them waking up. Growing up, my younger brother taught me that if I pick on someone and punch them often I can always have my way.
I’m an animal lover. In New York I had an aquarium. I loved my fish so much that when I moved to Florida, I left them in the care of a good friend, and haven’t seen them since. I’ve always wanted birds, but not in a cage… in an aviary. Dozens of birds flying wildly around a screened pool or something like that…
I sometimes consider having kids. Then I go out somewhere (anywhere) in public and realize it’s probably not a good idea. They’re quite annoying.
Here are some facts about me:
I am not a smoker. (lies)
I only drink socially. (lies)
I have no addictions. (lies)
ABOUT MY DATE
My ideal woman doesn’t exist, so don’t bother. She’s a mixture of Jenny McCarthy (pre-Carrey), Pamela Anderson (pre-Lee) and Carmen Electra (pre-Navarro). Every day we make love three times at my discretion. We would often communicate orally. She’s kinky enough to satisfy me but not kinky enough for me to think she was once a lady-of-the-night. We go out once a week to see live music, and otherwise stay in and watch the Simpsons (pre-season 10).
We would lead an active lifestyle together. You would come to my comedy shows, watch my band play downtown, endure long and often-paused movies I’ve been in, accompany me on road trips, and support my writing and creativity whenever I choose to start a new project. Sports are important and we would play beach volleyball whenever possible. I will be the Outside Hitter. You will be a Setter and wear a bikini. I like my sets high and soft.
There will be no television. You must not be someone who has a favorite show, or needs to watch the news when waking up or going to sleep. These distractions from reality are not welcome in my house and will only shorten valuable sex-time. If old Simpsons DVDs are not enough, then you’ve got the wrong guy.
Please do not message me if you’ve contacted other members regarding “intimate encounters.” (unless you’re interested in one with me… tonight)
MIA no pjnamratiugeht ; ) <read backwards, I’m not a paying member.
John Powers is a 28-year-old, heterosexual, single male. He does Graphics for TV by day, and Standup Comedy by night. He enjoys playing and listening to rock music, driving around with the top down on his convertible, and sipping on deep red wine near the beach…