Photo by Jesse Scaturro
Emailed Question of The Week From a Male Fan: If the date isn’t going well, should I still be expected to pay?
Beauty: Kendra Cunningham
To pay or not to pay, that is the question
Ok so it sounds like the question I “ if I go on a date with a girl and she is a bitch/dullard/prude do I still have to pay?” 99% percent of the time the answer is yes. Unless the girl is a riproaring bitch or a Jersey Shore Booze Bag, you should be a gentlemen and pay for the date that YOU invited her on. Now if it ends up she makes out with someone else during your date or calls you swear names or purposely orders high ticket items to inflate the bill, you might have a case on your hands. But even in those situations, its fight or flight. Do you want to fight with this nut over the bill or do you want to flee the scene and walk it off? Maybe you’re a cheap self righteous bastard and duking it out is worth it to you, maybe she likes that and fighting over 100 bucks brings out the Jenna Jameson in her. Who knows.
If paying for the date is a concern, mention going Dutch when you pose the invitation. Then you are both clear about splitting the bill before you even get there. Personally when someone asks me to go Dutch I pretend I never heard the expression before “ Go Dutch? Whatta ya mean?” That way the lonely miser is forced to explain “ Well, um, I want to go to dinner with you but I don’t want to pay for you. I want you to pay for you and me to pay for me.” After hearing a man say something like that, is there really any chance of a hot steamy romance to follow? The words go Dutch do not appear in Kendra Cunningham’s Book of Seduction. “ Oh you want me to pay for me and you to pay for you? Ok. Let’s do that. I’m going to Il Buco on Bond Street at 9 – I dare you to sit at my table”.
Thanks for listening!
Kisses-
Kendra
Kendra is a stand up comic living in Brooklyn where she owns a super comfortable bed. She spends most of her time wondering where the hell her sugar daddy is and hoping he didn’t settle.
The Beast: John Powers
If a date is not going well, you can tell immediately.
There’s probably nothing more awkward than sitting across from someone and thinking to yourself, “there’s no way this is gonna work… we have nothing in common, and the more she speaks the less attractive she is becoming… why won’t she just stop… nobody cares what her uncle did in North Carolina last June… and what’s that thing on her chin… why does it twitch when she talks… is that hair growing out of it… how did I get myself into this… would it be rude if I leave…”
It’s normal to feel more/less into someone while on a first date. Depending on how you met to begin with (drunk at a bar, bowling in the next lane…) you may be having your very first “real” conversations with each other. That’s a daunting venture, and it will tell you a lot about her personality. How does she speak to the waiter/waitress? How did she dress for a romantic dinner at the Olive Garden? Does she have any nervous habits? Is she controlling the conversation? Does she laugh when I say something funny? I know it was hilarious… does she think so? (…was she just laughing to be nice?!)
Before dinner comes, you already know you never want to see this chick again. At this point you’re just going through the motions… but why? Time is short, and if you’re not having a good time… walk away. I’d rather seem rude (…or arrogant or whatever…) than to sit and waste an evening with someone that I just don’t vibe with. Excuse yourself. No need to lie or make up a story… just simply explain, “this isn’t going very well… I’m gonna go.” When she asks, “wha- … why, what’s wrong?” Just tell her you’re not feeling it. I’m sure she’ll understand. If she doesn’t, who cares… you’ll never see her again!
That being said (… I hate that expression. Everything is always said before anything else has been said…) Nothing being said… sometimes it’s fun to stick it out just for a lark. Crack some inside jokes to yourself and laugh loudly as she wonders what the hell you’re talking about. You seem insane, but at least it makes for an interesting evening (… and she definitely won’t want a second date!) This is really the best of both worlds. You’re not wasting time because you’re having a good time and making the most of it with your own amusement.
… then the check comes.
How do you want to play this one?
I’m a gentlemen (if nothing else) and it’s my duty to grab the tab. It doesn’t matter if I’ll never see her again, I must pay the price for my entertainment and deal with the decision to accept a date with a person whom I have no potential with. Sixty dollars is a small price to pay for a night on the town with someone that you have absolutely no interest in. At least it was interesting. Bite the bullet. Call it a business expense and walk away grinning.
You drive her home… how far do you want to take this? You test the water by offering a piece of gum (the kind that has the juice inside so when you bite it you get gum juice exploding in your mouth…) but she turns it down. That’s the final straw. If she had taken it, I may have gone up there and let one thing turn into another… but there’s no way I’m gonna makeout with someone with garlic breath and take my chances in a strange apartment…
… she probably has cats anyhow.
- John
John Powers is a 28-year-old, heterosexual, single male. He’s an Emmy Award-winning Graphic Designer for TV by day, and Standup Comedian by night. He enjoys playing and listening to rock music, driving around with the top down on his convertible, and sipping on deep red wine near the beach…
Feel free to e-male him at: SecondDate@JohnJPowers.com
http://johnjpowers.blogspot.com
LIKE US on Facebook:
Loading ...