The Beast: John Powers
It’s a turn-on if I’m nearby.
… and if the chicks are really hot.
Once upon a time, (like 10 years ago…) I entered a make out contest with this super hot chick that I was seeing at the time. Let’s call her… Erin. Let’s call me… John. We were up on a stage and going wild. She wrapped her legs around me and our tongues got lost in each others’ mouths in a whirlwind of sexual chemistry and anticipation. Typically I’m not one for public displays, but it was some of the best kissing I’ve ever been a part of. Then two chicks got on stage and won the free beer.
Most men have a fantasy of being with two women at the same time. They imagine themselves …naked… between two hot chicks, and having the time of their lives. (I can assure you, threesomes are not quite that glamorous, but that’s a discussion for another blog…) When two chicks makeout in public every guy watching immediately thinks their time might have finally arrived. More often than not, this is the furthest possibility from reality.
Gentlemen… think about how hard it is to get one attractive female interested in going to bed with you. Now take that number to the 2nd power… If this was a mathematical equation and the odds of getting one woman into bed are 1/100, then the odds of getting that 2nd chick into bed would be 1/10,000… (so you’re saying there’s a chance…) It is possible, but it’s quite unlikely. Enjoy the beauty of the makeout for what it’s worth, and then walk away slowly…
Typically when two (straight) women kiss in public it means that one or both of them are drunk, bi-curious, or simply want to get a rise from the male onlookers. Is it a turn-on? Yeah, there’s something special about drunk chicks kissing in public. Two smokin’ hot chicks standing on top of a bar and twisting tongues always brings a smile to my face. Women are beautiful creatures (…totally illogical, but beautiful…) and two amazing bodies rubbing against one another and licking each others’ faces is the stuff that (wet) dreams are made of.
It’s only a turn-off if they’re real lesbians. You hardly ever see two super hot chicks that are actually lovers. Not sure why, but that’s the unicorn of lesbianism. There’s usually a 4 who landed an 8. One looks like Jennifer Love Hewitt, the other looks like a 14-year-old boy with anger issues. Watching those two makeout you just can’t help but think, “damn… I should be hitting that…” (… the hot one, not the dude)
If you’re gonna makeout in public… be a hot chick.
- John
E-male John at:
EnterTheMakeoutContest@JohnJPowers.com
Twitter: @ComicJohnPowers
http://johnjpowers.blogspot.com
John Powers is a 28-year-old, heterosexual, single male. He’s an Emmy Award-winning Graphic Designer for TV by day, and Standup Comedian by night. He enjoys playing and listening to rock music, driving around with the top down on his convertible, and sipping on deep red wine near the beach…
Beauty: Kendra Cunningham
With the exception of true blue lesbians, girls make out with other girls in public to try to turn guys on. Rihanna and Britany? They did that to get some sexualized attention. Is America still intrigued by the shock factor? Seems like a rookie move at this point.
It’s not like they need the money. If someone was to come to me and say “Hey we have this comedic bit we want you to be in. The final scene is you making out with Wanda Sykes” you can bet the first thing out of my mouth would be “how much?’. That would be my ulterior motive. Honestly, I can say for the right price, I would participate in activities directly against my values and beliefs. But I’m BROKE. Rihanna and Britany are far from broke and definitely not in need of exposure. So why? Because raunchy lyrics and slutty outfits aren’t enough? Don’t get me wrong, I like their music and I want to be considered sexy too, but there was a time that being sexy had a level of inconspicuousness.
I just watched some Jersey Shore reruns where one of the girls asks a random girl to make out in some cheesy nightclub in front of a group of guys. What’s the underlying message? “Hey I know you guys would never really like me for me so let me assure you I will do ANYTHING to get your attention. Even if it’s only for the length of a drunken kiss, heavy on the tongue. Seriously ! Watch! No tan lines.” I guess the take away is “If I’ll do this in public, you can imagine what I’d do in the dark”.
I’m not completely naïve. I know there is a microcosm of guys who would kill for a chick who makes out with chicks and regularly participates in group sex. There are definitely freaks among us. But I also believe there are men who would prefer to be with a woman who does not make out with other people, no matter what sex they are. It’s called being loyal, trustworthy and having impulse control. Never mind a morsel of self respect.
Having said all that, do I think men are still turned on by girl on girl public make outs? Unquestionably.
Thanks for listening!
Kisses-
Kendra
Kendra is a stand up comic living in Brooklyn where she owns a super comfortable bed. She spends most of her time wondering where the hell her sugar daddy is and hoping he didn’t settle.
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