Beauty and The Beast:
A Dating Advice Column by Kendra Cunningham and John Powers
Fan Mail Question of Week:
Do you stay with a cheater? Well do ya?
Beauty: Kendra Cunningham
Cheating sucks particularly when you find out about it from a third source. That’s the worst. If you ever cheat, fess up. Easy for me to say. I’m not a cheater. When I’m involved with a guy I don’t have time to cheat. I’m too busy trying to catch him cheating. I’m jealous and territorial and if I had it my way, my man would have his hand on my ass at all times.
There are four general cheating scenarios. 
A. He cheated one time and confessed
B. He cheated numerous times with different people and confessed
C. He cheated numerous times with the same person and confessed
D. He cheated and you busted him. No unsolicited confession.
Any time a guys cheats and doesn’t fess up, be gone. He’s never gonna be honest with you or himself for that matter. Lord knows what other things you might find out about him. Destroy something he loves like a video game device or his favorite football shirt, and leave. Pay a personal trainer from your local gym to pick you up with no shirt on and carry you to the car.
A guy who cheats with a bunch of different people is a pig. He has no standards and no respect for you or anybody else. He probably thinks he’s sooooooooo good looking that he can’t be limited to one piece of ass. Knock his front teeth out and take them with you when you leave.
The only situation I would stay in is if he confessed to a one night stand and he felt horrible about it. In addition to the verbal admission, there would have to be crying, groveling and repetitive articulation of how much I mean to him, listing specific traits and idiosyncrasies he loves about me, coupled with visible and audible signs of self hatred. The admission would have to be followed with months of kowtowing, brownnosing, and day in and day out of sucking up to me.
It’s not just the confession/ apology it’s the fawning over, the pampering, hell sometimes a girl hopes her man slips up just so she can be treated like a Queen for a year. Then when you’ve exhausted all his niceties then you start going out, staying out late. Make HIM jealous. Dress a little different and pay heightened attention to personal hygiene. It’ll drive him crazy with suspicion. Eventually you break up. You can’t be with a cheater! But you had a hell of a self esteem building year and you deserved it.
Some relationships survive cheating. It is possible. I’ve seen it on Dr. Phil.
Most people I know are waiting for an excuse to get out of their relationship.
When an opportunity to get out presents itself, will you capitalize on it?
Risk taker or relationship faker?
Thanks for listening!
Kisses-
Kendra
Kendra is a stand up comic living in Brooklyn where she owns a super comfortable bed. She spends most of her time wondering where the hell her sugar daddy is and hoping he didn’t settle.
www.kendracunningham.com
www.blondelogicblog.com
The Beast: John Powers
How do I feel about cheating? I’m against it. 
That’s all. This will be a very short blog…
If you’re gonna be in a committed relationship, the most important things to have are trust and respect. If you break those, you can never get them back. If you have no respect for your person… it shows. It takes years to build trust but only seconds to destroy it. There’s no point in being in a monogamous relationship if you’re not ready for a commitment.
If you enjoy playing the game and random hookups… stay single.
It shocks me when people treat their significant like an insignificant. That person should be your world… your life, your love, your happiness. If that’s not the case, then why are you with them? If you have no respect for them, you display no respect for yourself or the relationship. Some say “it does no harm if nobody finds out…” or, “it’s not cheating because it’s your dog…” but that’s all bullshit. Things change as soon as you cheat, whether you realize it or not. It’s impossible to treat your person the same way afterwards… and your conscience will eat at you constantly. Just don’t do it.
Personally… I can have a no-cheating policy, because I am single. For me, if I hook up with someone else… nobody cares! (Except that chick who thought we were close to going steady…) “I don’t have a girlfriend, I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.” – Mitch Hedberg. It simply means I’m still looking for fulfillment. Until I settle down and find someone special to get exclusive with, I’m gonna enjoy myself and go on dates, and try to make the most of every day. Hopefully at some point I will find someone that satisfies me in each of my required categories… and we can get committed monogamously.
… until then, it’s not cheating if you’re not in a relationship.
- John
John Powers is a 28-year-old, heterosexual, single male. He’s an Emmy Award-winning Graphic Designer for TV by day, and Standup Comedian by night. He enjoys playing and listening to rock music, driving around with the top down on his convertible, and sipping on deep red wine near the beach…
Feel free to e-male him at: StayFaithfulSanFransisqo@JohnJPowers.com
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