Beauty and The Beast: How Long Until You Say, “The 3 Words?” I love you….

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admin
– August 10, 2011Posted in: Beauty and The Beast

Picture from GraphicsHunt.com

Hello Kendra and John…

I have a question maybe you guys can answer for me on next weeks blog… How long do you guys think you should wait until you say “the 3 words?”  I love you… Do you guys think there is a waiting period?  Thanks for reading my question and hopefully it’ll be next weeks topic.  Have a good week.  
- Mary

The Beast:  John Powers

… I love you, Mary.
That was a great question.  Thanks for asking.
It’s a tough call.  Every relationship is different.  Follow your heart, but use discretion.  You know when you feel it… but may not know if it’s mutual.  There’s nothing you want more than to exchange those words with your person, but you’ve only been dating a few weeks… You want to yell it from a rooftop… but you don’t want to scare them away… is it time yet?  Should I wait?
In my opinion there is no waiting period.  (“I’m trying to get laid, not buying a handgun” – Nick Fraley)  Love doesn’t come around every day (in fact, it usually comes when you least expect it) … and there isn’t a special day you should announce it.  Say what you mean when you feel it.  Live in the moment.  If it’s love at first sight… tell them that.  Ask if they believe in it.  Chances are they might be feeling it too.  That’s important.  Love can be a thousand times more potent if you can share the feeling and get wrapped up in the romantic euphoria.  Your person might be waiting for you to say it first.  If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be.  There’s no point in planning out the perfect time to say it.  There’s no such thing as the perfect time… only the time that you have together.  Putting it off… waiting 3 months, or whatever your rule might be… is only interferring with the genuine expression of your feelings.
Often times we don’t say it, and then regret it.  That’s why there’s a “missed encounters” section of every newspaper.  Your old high-school sweetheart that wouldn’t let you get to 2nd base without saying it… why didn’t you?!  Even with those that are closest to us (Unspoken) there are boundries of what is acceptable to express, and when it’s appropriate to do so.  My feeling is… now might be the only time.  You never know what tomorrow may bring.  If you love someone… tell them so.  What the worst that could happen?  They don’t love you?  Alright, at least now you know…
Once I said it too soon.  It wasn’t too soon in my mind, because I felt it… but too soon in her mind (because she did not…).  It’s tough to put yourself out there.  Sometimes the look on the other person’s face will make you feel like pulling the covers over your head, or sticking your face in the sand like an ostrich.  Perhaps that’s where the term “ostrichise” comes from… Anyhow, you won’t know how your person will react to it until you say it.  If you think it’s real… if you are feeling it… say it.

Picture taken from WalkInandOut.blogspot.com

My only stipulation is:  Don’t say it unless you mean it.

It’s a powerful drug and should only be taken with proper diagnosis.
There’s no better feeling than giving your love.
Share it freely and openly… with no expectations.

 

Love,
John

 

John Powers is a 28-year-old, heterosexual, single male. He’s an Emmy Award-winning Graphic Designer for TV by day, and Standup Comedian by night. He enjoys playing and listening to rock music, driving around with the top down on his convertible, walking aimlessly around Manhattan… and sipping on deep red wine near the beach…
Feel free to e-male him at:  AllYouNeedIsLove@JohnJPowers.com

http://johnjpowers.blogspot. com

Stop by EastVille Comedy Club on 2nd and 4th st at 7pm this Friday to see John and Kendra sharing a stage for the return of the “Power Hour” comedy show!

 

Beauty:  Kendra Cunningham

How long should you wait before you tell someone you love them?

You’re supposed to tell them?  Crap! I thought you were supposed to act ambiguously so they wouldn’t take you for granted, feel unchallenged,  and eventually leave. No wonder I’ve been single for so long.

I usually let people I know I love them by sticking around, asking follow up questions to things they’ve talked about in the past, and oh yeah, doin’ it with them. That’s a big one! If I’ve had sex with you, I like you, it’s on. Maybe I’m just infatuated but in my mind, its love! And if we do it more than once, forget it. You won’t shake me for a while. I have an attachment disorder.

If you need to verbalize your emotions, you gotta trust your instincts. You can sense when a moment arises where your comfort level is high and you’re confident in you’re ability to express yourself, wait for it.  Also, make sure you’re prepared for the response or lack of. You may  not get the “I love you” back. Think about the possible outcomes of your confession before going full throttle. Realize your taking an emotional gamble.

THREE times in my life I have been in relationships that included a lot of “I love you” declarations. They were often preceded with “but” . “But I love you and I want to make this work”  “ But I thought you said you loved me and you wanted to make this work”  “But people who love each other, make it work”.

See the pattern here? Love and work? I’ve been in some trying relationships.

My advice to you, bite your tongue. Sweat it out. Let him go first.

Best case scenario:

Him: “I think I’m falling in love with you”

You: “Prove it!”

Roll the dice!

Thanks for listening!

Kisses-

Kendra

Kendra is a stand up comic living in Brooklyn where she owns a super comfortable bed. She spends most of her time wondering where the hell her sugar daddy is and hoping he didn’t settle.

www.kendracunningham.com

www.blondelogicblog.com

For more from Beauty and The Beast visit their previous columns here!

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