Dear Kendra and John,
I’ve been with a girl for several weeks. Everything was going great until she invited me to a wedding. Her mom was also invited. I met the bride last weekend and she was totally obnoxious. I think she was trying to push my buttons. It worked. Got into a fight with my lady and went home. Should I still go to the wedding? Is it worth pursuing this girl?
Thanks.
You guys are funny as hell.
Mike in Brooklyn
The Beast: John Powers
If you ask me (which you did) it sounds like a case of Too Much vs. Too Soon. That’s a lose-lose situation. There are a few reasons why…
You’ve been together several weeks. There’s no reason to argue yet. You should still be in the Honeymoon phase. The first 3-6 months of a relationship are the best… you learn about each other, have some great sex, and spend time laughing and smiling. It’s not until things get serious that you will start to see all the major differences between you, and be forced to decide if the sex is worth the headaches…
Maybe you got too serious too quick. How old is your lady? Is she looking to have her own wedding soon? You say her mom was invited… have you met each others’ families?! If you have, it might not be bad, but if your first meeting with her mom is a wedding, that could be awkward… as well as a high-pressure situation if you really like this chick.
Did you expect a bride-to-be not to be obnoxious?! This may be the most anticipated moment of this woman’s life… the one time she’s encouraged to be a complete monster of “whatever I want” mixed with “get out of my way!” How did you expect this introduction to go? Of course she’s gonna push your buttons. She never met you before, how dare you dance at her wedding! Plus, even if your chick was her best friend, a woman getting married wants to feel like she’s the only woman in the world to ever find love… she isn’t thinking of her friend being happy, and will thoughtlessly throw you under a bus, even if you’re the best guy her friend ever dated. To her, you’re just another chair… do you want steak or chicken?!
What were you thinking, man?! This chick must be damn special if you were willing to go through all that. Let me guess… she swallows? Does she have any cousins?
My advice is… think it out. If you already agreed to go to the wedding, you should honor that commitment. If there is a way out, you may want to explain the situation she put you in… intentionally or not.
Only you know if she’s worth pursuing, but it sounds like you’ve already run the gauntlet for her. What you need to figure out is: Does she have your best interests at heart… or is she just looking for a guy in a suit to accompany her to uncomfortable social events.
Any questions? E-male:
WeddingCrashers@johnjpowers.com
- John
@ComicJohnPowers
http://www.johnjpowers.blogspot.com
John Powers is a 29-year-old, heterosexual, single male. He does graphics for TV by day, and standup comedy by night. He enjoys playing and listening to rock music, driving around with the top down on his convertible, walking aimlessly around Manhattan… and sipping on deep red wine near the beach…
Beauty: Kendra Cunningham
Hey Mike,
Thanks for the email. Interesting storyline. I wish I had more details:
What was said to push your buttons?
What was the girl you’re seeing’s stance?
How’d you handle it the next day?
Based on the facts I do have, I say go to the wedding.
First of all getting a date for a wedding is a bitch. You already committed, backing out now is purely selfish. AND the girl wants you to meet her mother there. That means she’s proud of her new man. Let her have her moment. If you don’t go, her mother will know and think you’re a putz. Eating crow and attending the wedding is a lot easier than turning a Mother’s disapproval around.
Now here’s what you do when you get to the wedding. This may go without saying but, Look Good! Consult people and make sure your outfit is kick ass. Take a shower. Moisturize? A little unnoticeable hair product? You know what I’m saying. Be girly about it just for today. Be polite and gentlemanly. Laugh and smile a lot. Let the bride know not only are you having a great time on her dime, your becoming popular with her inner circle. Remember you are in a position to ruin her lifelong dream. A few well timed snide remarks, maybe a “Great dress, too bad they didn’t have your size.” or a whispered “you have food in your teeth” can trigger a downward spiral. If you really want to get vicious, I have two words for you: red wine. Everyone knows a wino is the worst stumbling drunk, grab a big old glass of red and “lose your footing” by the head table. What would a chianti covered bride do? Shit, that’s one for the books.
Let us know how it goes!
Kisses-
Kendra
Kendra is a stand up comic living in Brooklyn where she owns a super comfortable bed. She spends most of her time wondering where the hell her sugar daddy is and hoping he didn’t settle.
For more from Beauty and The Beast visit their previous columns here!
LIKE US on Facebook: HERE
Download The Comedy Point for FREE
on iTunes Click HERE
Loading ...
John – You hit the nail on the head, bro. It was a real crappy situation. Your perception is eye-opening… I didn’t think of it that way.
Kendra – What was said to push my buttons was silly stuff, but antagonistic. The girl I was seeing got mad at me for agreeing with her friend. It was mostly about chivalry, and I thought that I was saying/doing the right things. The girl I was seeing disagreed. She doesn’t want a gentleman, I guess.
The way I handled it the next day was calling and saying it’s best if I don’t go to the wedding. I was only invited a few days prior, but it was a bigger deal than I thought. I haven’t seen her since.
Next time I’m with someone, I consult you two before doing anything at all.
Yeah, man. Sounds like a real pickle…
At least you know what you’re up against though. Thanks for choosing J&K Advice Service! Next time wait for our reply before you make any commitments…