Top 10 Signs You’re Not Her Only Valentine
by Burak Uzun
In honor of St. Valentine, here are 10 signs that your girlfriend might have been struck by Cupid’s arrow multiple times.
10 - Her name comes up in rap lyrics all the time
9 - Once or twice a month you’ll see the Secret Service parked outside of her house
8 - What kind of boss would ask someone to work late on Valentine’s Day?
7 - She goes out for drinks with $40 and comes back drunk, with $40
6 - For some reason, the women in town seem to hate her
5 - She has a Pool Boy that you’ve never seen clean the pool
4 - Your Valentine’s Day dinner with her is scheduled from 4:00 to 6:00
3 - The florist confirmed that your roses would make it to her on the 14th and would be “delivered with the others”
2 - Her co-worker has only one spare ticket to Mama Mia for that night. And you know how much she likes Mama Mia
1 - Her porch light is red
A sense of humor as dry as an overcooked steak. If you’re sarcastic…or British, you should love his irreverent quips and “Smooth Vulgarity”.
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