Does She Have a Boyfriend or Not?

Beauty And The Beast, a weekly dating advice column with Kendra Cunningham and John Powers

Fan Mail Question of The Week:

KENDRA AND JOHN,

WHAT IS A SMOOTH & EFFECTIVE WAY TO FIND OUT IF A FEMALE FRIEND HAS A BOYFRIEND??

THANKS,

CLAUDE

The Beast: John Powers

Claude… ask her.

The best way to find out if anyone is seeing anyone is to simply ask. She either is or is not. You could call, text, or inquire over a round of croquet… but asking is positively the best way to be sure.

There are certainly other ways… you could follow her for several days. Erect a camp outside her residence and monitor her comings and goings. Follow her through her daily routines and nightly outings. Watch for anyone who may have a penis or a mustache.

You could sign up for each dating service on the interweb and narrow your search by her specific characteristics until you locate her advertisement. Send her an email… a flirt, an introduction, or a wink.

…but asking would be much easier.

Since you’re asking a dating advice blog how to find out this information it’s safe to assume you don’t want to ask her. Perhaps you don’t want to risk rejection, the ruin of your friendship, or the knowledge of the rouse you’ve maintained. In that case… find someone else. You’d be better to start a relationship with someone you know as single and make your intentions known from the gecko.

- John

Ask me anything… I will answer.

Email: AskWhoShesFuckin@JohnJPowers.com

http://www.johnjpowers.com

facebook.com/ComicJohnPowers

@ComicJohnPowers

… John’s first single is now available on CDBaby. Click this link (http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnpowers2) to preview and purchase “Get Some Blow,” his parody version of Gotye’s Somebody I Used To Know.

Beauty: Kendra Cunningham

The kneejerk Kendra Cunningham response is “just ask her”. I usually phrase is something like “so what’s up with you? you have a girlfriend? Wife? Undefined entanglement?” . Not to brag but it’s pretty effective. Not only that but it’s pretty clear I’m interested. I can’t tell you how many times I thought I was sending out subtle indications of interest only to find out, months later, the numskull is completely oblivious, being subtle is a waste of valuable time. Time that can be spent getting to know each other, giggling over too many glasses of wine, and well, as LL would say Doin it and doin it and doin it right. I just don’t see subtle and effective as team players.

But I do want to help so here are some things I used to do when I played it safe.

Ask questions! Holidays and birthdays are great topics of conversation that reveal the key players in her inner circle. Who knows maybe the bastard ruined her last birthday party and she wants an objective male point of view. Ask where she got her earrings. Or “ is that a new blouse? Was that a gift?”. That line of questioning usually unveils the names of people who care about her. Or at least act like they do.

Friend her on Facebook. Facebook has made online stalking a non criminal pass time. A lot of people participate in the Facebook relationship status nonsense. It may be just that simple. If not, you have access to pictures. Jesus, you can find out a lot about someone by going through their photo library. Maybe she has a lot of boyfriends, or girlfriends for that matter. Shoot her a friend request, they mean nothing nowadays.

Share. Disclose information about yourself. Talk about your past relationships or your opinion of conventional marriage. If you share relationship stories, she’s bound to share one or two, past or present. Not only are you learning about her but she’s gets to hear how you care about women. Females love when males show their vulnerable side.

Worst case scenario, eavesdrop. I can’t tell you how much information I gather by just keeping my mouth shut and my ears open. Listen to her on the phone or chat with her friends, if you work with her, gold mine. Whenever you see her leave her desk, give her a follow. The juiciest personal calls happen during work hours in a random hallway or an empty cubicle.

Of course there are sinister and questionable ways to obtain the information as well. Email me if you want my spiel on that approach.

You can take me for a noon time beer.

Thanks for listening!

Kisses-

Kendra

Kendra is a stand up comic living in Brooklyn where she owns a super comfortable bed. She spends most of her time wondering where the hell her sugar daddy is and hoping he didn’t settle.

www.kendracunningham.com

www.blondelogicblog.com