Fan Mail Question of The Week:
Kendra and John,
“What is an appropriate age to get married now?”
Beast: John Powers
An appropriate age is… when it feels right.
When I was a young man, I thought there was a certain time and place when it was appropriate to get married. You get to know someone, share experiences, and then plan on being together. Now its clear to me that love can strike anytime. It could be your childhood sweetheart… a coworker that always smiles at you… or the person bowling in the lane next to yours.
It seems like chicks set age expectations on things… “I want to be married by 25, have kids by 30, and buy a house with a picket fence.” That’s just not fair. Most 30-something women that I know are jaded and secretly upset because their timeline was fucked up. It’s not the timeline that went wrong… it’s just life. Life takes you where you’re supposed to go, not where you think you’re supposed to go.
People seem to be waiting longer these days. We are more selfish than previous generations and less willing to put someone else’s happiness on the same level as our own. Marriage is hard at any age. The best advice I can give is not to listen to anyone’s advice. You will know when you feel right about committing your life to another.
You’re never too old to get married, either. People are living longer and choosing companionship over loneliness. A friend of mine in nursing told me that old people in her nursing home are boinking like it’s going out of style… mostly because they might be dead in a month or two. They don’t even care about STDs.
So boink someone tonight like it’s your last night alive.
Finding the right person is hard enough… let time worry about itself.
Ask me anything… I will answer.
… John’s comedy single is now available on iTunes. Click here to buy “Get Some Blow,” his parody version of Gotye’s hit “Somebody I Used To Know.”
In this day and age anything goes. Twenty years ago people were still in the mindset of getting married early to have kids and build a secure life together, nowadays everybody’s a bunch of me-me’s. Me me me! Middle America may still be more inclined to participate in that outdated conventional mindset but even Bible Belt people are showing up on these Me Me reality shows. “I want to be a singer” “I want to design clothes” “I want to be a model” Everybody wants to skip the years of work and just go right to the top. Same with getting married. People either avoid it until they are scared shit of being old and alone or they try it, realize its challenging, and jump ship.
But I’m not down on American culture.
Bottom line, it’s a free for all. In the 80’s if someone decided to get married for the first time in their 40’s people would say stuff like “He’s not gay?” or “Wow she finally found someone to put up with her whoring around”. Getting married later in life came with opinionated judgements. Now, shit, we have adults working in coffee shops as career paths. Seriously, if someone was to say to you in 1991 “in 2012, adults will work in coffee shops and organic food stores, highschool kids and PhD candidates will work hand in hand to sell you farm raised chickens and coffees with whipped cream options” you woulda called Bullshit! You know you would have. But here we are with people pining after jobs at Trader Joe’s and Starbucks like they were Smith Barney in 1995.
I gotta say, everytime I read an article about some 50 something year old who never got married but has some companion that they’ve been on and off with for years, I think “now here’s someone who is living an honest life”. No matter how much you love someone there is gonna be times when you’re like “OK you need to not talk to me for 3 months, you’re driving me out of my mind”. When you’re married you can’t do that.
5 years from now, maybe.
Marriage in ten years is going to be so much more loosely defined.
That’s what I’m waiting for.
Thanks for listening!
Kendra is a stand up comic living in Brooklyn where she owns a super comfortable bed. She spends most of her time wondering where the hell her sugar daddy is and hoping he didn’t settle.
For more from Beauty and The Beast visit their previous columns here!
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