Oh babies and bubbas it is a mere morning after the NBA trade deadline and the key word is dead. That is if you happen to be like me……….. a Boston Celtic fan. Last night my team parted ways with a vital piece of chemistry. That gentleman was Kendrick Perkins. A rough and tough batch of Texan that played center for the squad when they took home the banner in 2008. One of the few pieces that was kept after GM Danny Ainge traded for KG and Ray Allen ( the others were PAul Pierce and Rajon Rando). Traded with Nate Robinson to the Thunder for Jeff Green and Kristic (I have no intrest in trying to write Kristic’s first name. Look it up yourselves if you don’t know it. I can’t do everything around here!!!!!!

Sorry the trade has made me cranky. I’ll try and keep it together for the rest of this piece) For years Ainge was building a team of young assets and then he traded them away (Delonte West, Al Jefferson, Gerald Green) for the formation of the big three. Well Rondo and Perk were the one’s he kept. And Celtic fans prayed that our former 2 guard turned front office leader kept the right big man and point guard. He did. 2008 says it all. WORLD CHAMPS!!!!! Paul was the cpt. KG was the feild general, Ray was the dagger, Rondo was the spark and Perk was the anchor.

The protector, the one who handled the dirty work which is the paint in the NBA. he wasn’t the best player but we knew that with him anything was possible. And without him in game 7 of the 2010 Finals winning was impossible. Paul Gasol grabbed so many bricks from the rim you’d think he was gonna build a house. If Perk was there the story could have ended another way. He would of bullied that LLama looking Spainard like Byron Willie bullied me around in 7th grade ( he was a mean sod). Perk was a lovable chunk of a brute. And now “he’s gone and there is nothing we can do about it.” That is a quote from my favorite film of all time “Goodfellas.” It was right after Tommy (Joe Pesci) got whacked.

The turning point in the movie. The fun and games was over. Paranoia was about to kick in. Same with the Celts. PAranoia has kicked in. And not the Kind Henry (Ray Liotta) felt at the end of the film. This is no coke haze. The paronoia belongs to Danny Ainge. And it’s the same paronoia that Jimmy Conway (Bobby De Niro) had at the end of the film. Conway had just pulled off the impossible ( the luftansa heist) and now he was eliminating pieces of the puzzle. Whacking all the guys that helped him pull off the heist. Well bucko’s Ainge is eliminating pieces of the puzzle that helped him do the impossible ( win the 2008 crown). He’s not scared of getting caught. he’s petrified of not winning again. So scared that Poor perk got clipped like Maurey did. From behind. No clue it was happening. Probably on his way to buy his girl a danish. And now the movie continues in a haze of paranoia. The team just like the film I’m comparing it to is on a downward spiral.

The charming chemistry is gone. The good times are done. No more front row at the Copa or championships. Without the lovable lummox the Celts need to rely on both O’neals being healthy in the playoffs. That’s like relying on your stripper girlfriend to stay faithful. It might happen and if it does you better appreciatte the miracle bubbas!!!! And now this NBA season resembles the 1992 oscars for best picture. The Celts represent “GOOdfellas” outstanding but panicked at the end. The Heat represent “The Godfather part 3″ good in theory but very flawed. And in the end knowone beats “Dances with Wolves” ( The Spurs). Even though we were all bored watching them. And so it goes…………………………..

Our featured guest of the week is our Twitter Star Brandon Mendelson, who started his own holiday.  The day after Valentine’s Day is officially “Guy Appreciation Day.”   How long has Brandon been celebrating it?  We wonder if he has as many followers for this holiday as he does his Twitter? Follow him on Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/BJMendelson

Unsigned Artist of The Week:  Pony Death Ride joins us at 6:30 PM and we will be ending the show with their NEW song, “Breaking Up With You is Gonna Be Fun.” That’s another Comedy Point Miracle and pure conscience, their new song fits into the theme of the show!  Check out their website http://www.ponydeathride.com/

With Football now over, Did Matt Scarpelli bet on The Grammy Awards? Rich Shultis will be joining us in studio along with co-host Christine Meehan and head writer Burak Uzun.

And of course the one and only Maddog Mattern calling us at the top of the 2nd hour for, “Dog in The Park.”  Where will he be calling in from?

Grandma Marian Richardson is back home from her cruise and trip to Florida.   What more could we ask for?  Tonight is going to be a lot of fun.

Tune in on WIFI 1460 AM in Philadelphia and Atlantic City or online worldwide http://www.wifiam1460.com/

Picture taken from www.Stuartngbooks.com

She is gorgeous. That’s all she is. I’ve tried to pretend she is an angel. But she has horns and has sorted me out in an elevator. That’s no angel bubbas. That’s something else. I get excited thinking of her. But she doesn’t think of me. Only when there is nothing else to do. That’s when the phone rings. And like a dummy I answer. “Maybe this is the night,” I think. We will continue were we left off. Instead I get left off. Off her radar.

Sure, I get other women. But she’s the one. The one that I want. The one that is wrong but feels right. The one that eats at the soul till there is nothing left to feel. The one that can excite a dead gay man. The one that makes you hate her and love her at the same time. I’ve waited for her for a long time. And I will have to keep waiting, because it’s moment has passed. Two weeks was it’s life span. That’s all it was meant to be. I’m just chasing a memory.

A Haiku by Maddog Mattern

I drink way too much
It is a whole lot of fun
Hangovers builds character

Fruit is real good bubbas
I eat apples a whole lot
I might live forever

The Title of This Poem is Actually Longer Than the Poem Itself

A Haiku by Maddog Mattern
We should stop wishing
it makes one dillusional
dreams rarely come true

Listen to Maddog Mattern’s “Dog In The Park” segment every Tuesday at 7pm on The Comedy Point with SOUL Joel on WIFI 1460 AM in South Jersey and Philadelphia or online at www.wifi1460am.com

The Ultimate Hunt
A Haiku by Maddog Mattern
Chasing Skirt is Dope
Catching it is Even Better
Keeping it Impossible

Don’t forget to download The Comedy Point with Soul Joel on iTunes. SUBSCRIBE and DOWNLOAD for FREE by clicking here: http://itunes.apple.com/podcast/the-comedy-point-soul-joel/id345531973

Maddog Mattern!!! Changing it up with a Week's Worth of Haikus

Many people come, go
you are the one I miss most
but you, don’t exist

Ahhh, the animals are out tonight. A basehead that looks like Quest Love with a beard that hasn’t touched soap since Bush was in his first term is searching for rocks on third avenue. His eyes are menacing like Pennywise’s in “IT.”A mugging would be a good score for him but he can’t. The law is around. He walks by four cops in a huddle on fifth who aren’t protecting. They are hunting. For each other. Two males. Two females. A thousand hormones. The males want to bang the females so they can have something to brag about to the “boys.” The females want to bang the males so they can feel like they are apart of the “boys.”
At the corner of sixth several cabs desperately slow down and beg me to jump in. When I say no they call me a tease and tell me where to stick it. Where are they when I am waving and need them? On seventh walks a transvestite with face full of make up that would make Tammy Fae Baker jealous. There’s enough ectasy in her/him that she/he doesn’t remeber that there is a penis between those two stumbling legs. A few steps later the bridge and tunnel posse are dressed like classy losers in a Lady Gaga look-a-like contest. They are looking for food and someone to yell at after leaving a hot spot in the meatpacking district. Soon these two Cinderellas will realize it’s past midnight and that there pumpkin chariot will only take them to work somewhere down the shore. Thugs are all over. They are only pea cocking tonight. It’s too nice out to actually work.

The weather is fantastic. Depending on who you ask it’s a warm winter or a cool spring. And depending on who you ask it’s a late Sunday evening or a way too early Monday morn. It doesn’t matter. It’s perfect. No matter who you ask it’s 14th street in Manhattan. And babies walking it right now sure beats a kick in the ass.

Damnit bubbas life used to be easy. You do something fun like play a sport. You get real good at it. You make some bosh (money) and marry a model. You know like a MGMT song. But alas Mr. Dylan was right times are changing. I was in a hotel after a gig watching tennis ( that’s right I’m classy). The match was between the beast Roger Federer and this Russian Davydanko. It was a shocker bucko. Not the match itself. Federer beat him like a jr high boy beats his meat. The real action was in the stands. Davydanko had a smoking fox of a girlfriend. This broad was the oppositte of Dante’s Inferno. 12 levels of heaven babies woooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now that should be expected, tennis player get hot chicks. But here’s the thriller babies. Federer’s wife was criminally mediocre. Average Jane. Can you believe that? In this day and age an average looking broad from damned Sweden? But more importantly, Federer is probably the greatest tennis player ever. And the 8th ranked player has a fox compared to his chipmunk. Up is down babies and down is sideways.
Here’s the thing. Old school wisdom would have that Federer would have a broad so hot that the Goddess Aphrodite would hang her head in shame around her. But no. He’s above the superficial. Most of us think we wouldn’t. I’ve been telling anyone who’ll listen that in my forties I plan on banging 18-yr old supermodels on a bed of cash while eating lobster for breakfast. That seems to be the dream. But it’s not.

She's not 18 and that's not American money, but you get the picture!

Andre and Brooke

Andre and Steffi