10- Your friend got in the paper, so you got on a milk carton.
9- A Lifeguard can prove that you held your breath the longest.
8- You would break glass in front of your brother’s door to be the first one downstairs for Christmas gifts.
7- A shuttle bus from the Senior Center made yours the BIGGEST party of the year!
6- Your friend quit smoking, so you quit eating
5- A mail order Tapeworm won you the weight loss contest.
4- It starts as a game of Twister and ends with a rug burn on someone’s face.
3- You wear cleats to play Duck Duck Goose.
2- You know from experience that racing to take the quickest shower isn’t the best idea socially.
1- Nobody has more cavities than you. Nobody!

Head Writer Burak Uzun can be heard every week on The Comedy Point.
You can also follow him on Twitter every day: @BRUzun

By Burak Uzun

In this day and age it’s almost impossible to draw people away from their high-tech toys. With so many distractions at our fingertips an old-fashioned good time is, well, old fashioned. But on a rainy day in Hoboken, pixels and applications took a back seat to the original crowd pleaser: free ice cream.

April 12, 2011 was Free Cone Day at participating Ben & Jerry’s locations nationwide. And the location in Hoboken was participating in a big way; drawing a line of people like an iPad release. But the day wasn’t about merchandise. Black Friday was nowhere to be found and smiling faces were the only things that outnumbered the sprinkles.

One of the biggest smiles was on the face of Soul Joel. As a well-known comedy producer and radio-personality, Joel was fulfilling the role of “Celebrity Scooper” – providing charm along with a dairy fix. And the fixes were many!

The many volunteers filled cones feverishly. With a ringing bell indicating milestones of people served, it was obvious that the store had given away gallons upon gallons of the good stuff. Some of the ice cream even ended up on Soul Joel himself, a sure sign of “Scooper’s Elbow”.

Now, before you label the proprietors of the shop as crazy you should know that it was all for a good cause. Giving out free product wasn’t a radical business idea; it was a fundraiser for the American Cancer Society. Right next to the spoons and napkins were bins to give donations towards a cure.

In the end, charity triumphed over profits. Cheer surpassed gloom. And the event was a huge success. Although it could have caused a need for another fundraiser, this time to cure sugar-rushed kids.

Special Thanks to:

Owner: Sibel Berberoglu
Ben & Jerry’s of Hoboken
405 Washington Ave.
Hoboken, NJ 07090
201-792-1966
www.benjerry.com/hoboken

Darwin is right…again.

Do you ever get the feeling that Darwin’s theories about survival of the fittest apply to modern humans too?

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I got that feeling when I read this:

“KENNEWICK, Wash. – A burglar who spent about five hours on a store’s computer after breaking into the business gave police all the clues they needed to track him down.”

The associated press reported this piece of scientific evidence last week.

Why is it scientific evidence?

Well the way I figure it, this person will end up in jail – eventually.

And while in jail he will not be able to reproduce (barring any conjugal visits).

That’s it. A guy dumb enough to loiter in the place he’s robbing for five hours to play around online is not the kind of guy we want making more people.

“Investigators said the 17-year-old logged into his MySpace account while at Bella Office Furniture and that made it easy for them to find him.”

It’s also a blessing that the criminal will not be able to use any social networking sites while in prison. His status updates would most certainly be too graphic for most to read – depending on how flisky of a cellmate he ends up with.

“He also spent time…trying to sell stolen items, all while using the business’ computer.”

And of course, no five hour stint on the internet would be complete with-out a look on Ebay. Although I’m not convinced he was trying to sell the items he had just stolen. He might have also been looking to bid for some of the items he wasn’t able to find at the crime scene.

But what do I know?

http://www.newsobserver.com/2010/03/18/395838/cops-burglar-logs-into-myspace.html

Burak Uzun is the Head Writer of The Comedy Point.  Tune in on Tuesday evenings from 6 to 8pm on www.TheComedyPoint.com.

“The Comedy Point Reviews with Grandma & Eric.”

- Every week Grandma and Eric will review the same piece of comedy.
- The item for the week will be posted on the website every week. Listeners are encouraged to review the piece themselves and give their feedback.

This week’s item for review:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVbHMu9MMEs

This is a great skit from AdanAmongstDans, a comedy troupe specializing in films, music and stand-up comedy.

http://adanamongstdans.com/

This skit features a good friend of The Comedy Point and Soul Joel Productions:
John Szeluga

***If you have anything that you think that we should review email us at: TheComedyPoint@Gmail.com
Guidelines: PG-13 or lower in rating & Comedy themed

Burak Uzun is the Head Writer for The Comedy Point