Fan Mail Question of The Week:

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Dear Kendra & John,

“Where can I meet girls if I don’t drink?”

Patrick

Beauty: Kendra Cunningham

I strongly believe you can do anything you want to do. You decide you want to meet someone, you will. Here are a few ideas.

Get active

You’re sober now so why not be fit? Join a beginners running group. You get to see what she looks like when she runs. For me, that’s a deal breaker. If anyone sees me running, I write them off. I don’t look good when I run. It’s impossible to erase that image from your head. Take my word for it.

Not a runner? Check out Zogsports, an organized sports community. They have basketball, softball, and all sorts of other teams to join. Join a team and make some friends. Not only that you have a new identity. Suddenly you are a basketball player. Why? Because you play basketball on Tuesdays. People love people who do things.

Get educated

Take classes in anything and everything. Language classes, cooking classes, dance classes. People in classes are looking to learn something new- they might as well learn about you and your sober single status. Try to take a class with homework or that requires collaboration, that way you have an excuse to make plans outside of class. Even if you don’t meet anyone you want to date, you’re bound to meet other dudes with similar interests. Maybe they’ll let you take a dip in their pool of females. Then you already have a leg up on strangers, you KNOW somebody who knows them.

Get going

Go somewhere! Travel groups let you see the opposite sex in travel mode. I have to be able to travel with someone. That’s all I want to do when I get older is travel with my sweetheart. Let’s face it, some people fare better in the ten mile radius of home than sipping a 7 liquor cocktail with a fancy scarf tied around your head, heading East on a gondola. Some people would not enjoy that scenario. Better to find out informally in a group than one on one. Plus people on vacation are more prone to casual sex. You can parlay that into something. Believe me, I do it all the time.

Keep us posted. This sober thing fascinates me.

I honestly believe I’d be skinny and productive and in love if I was sober.

Better to believe the fantasy, huh?

Thanks for listening.

Kisses-

Kendra

Kendra is a stand up comic living in Brooklyn where she owns a super comfortable bed. She spends most of her time wondering where the hell her sugar daddy is and hoping he didn’t settle.

www.kendracunningham.com                   

www.blondelogicblog.com

The Beast: John Powers

Drinking certainly helps.

Wait, what?  No drinking?  Ah.

Well… you’re gonna have a hard go at it.  Drinking is a social lubrication (haha).  There’s nothing easier than going to a bar and finding someone in the same mental condition looking for the same thing you are.  You lock eyes… smile… wink… and that’s it.

Meeting a girl without booze is a challenge but it can happen.  I’ve met sober women in the strangest of places… while riding the subway (take out your earbuds and start a conversation)… in a Subway sandwich shop (ask for extra mayo)… there’s no wrong place to meet someone.  The only stipulation is that you need to be in public.  The only place you are guaranteed not to meet anyone is inside your own home (the computer doesn’t count… they’re not real until you meet in person).

… and hey, if she’s not drunk, there’s a strong chance she is a good person.  It will be worth the effort.  I’d much rather meet my future wife at a museum than a bar.  There’s much to be said for a lady who stays in reading or knitting on a saturday night.  She may be quiet and reserved, but many of the shy ones are the wildest in bed.  They don’t need drinks to have fun.  Take her camping, or go to a show.  Engaging in non-alcoholic activities with your person builds a stronger connection… mostly because you’ll both remember it the next day.

Just keep in mind… she’s sober.  It will be much harder to break through that “random stanger” zone and into the “person I might date” area.  Not impossible… just harder.  My best advice is to be yourself… or at least a first-impression version of yourself (if you start with the obscene gestures and fart jokes, she may not be interested).  Say something witty and casual…. be playful and sincere.  Once the ice is broken the rest is up to the laws of attraction and the smell of your pheramones.

… if you need a quick confidence boost there’s nothing wrong with hitting up the bar scene friday before the charity fundraiser saturday.

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- Ralph Waldo Emerson

(1803-1882)

An American essayist, lecture and poet who led the Transcendentalist movement of the mid-19th century.

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Ruffle My Feathers, a weekly sports blog by Justin Lewis

Pay for Play (Ref’s Edition)

I’m going to make this article short, sweet and to the point.  The NBA referees and the commissioner should be under investigation for installing a pay for play system (Referee’s edition).

Last night I watched the Miami Heat lose to the Indiana Pacers in a very close game.  As usual the same thing happens in every game that involves “star” players.  They hardly EVER have fouls called on them.  Last night LeBron had ZERO, yes I said ZERO personal fouls.  Are you kidding me?! He was playing the other teams’ best player Danny Granger (who is an all-star caliber player) for 90% of the game.  So you mean to tell me that he didn’t push, nudge, or slap anyone including Granger who continually attacked the basket might I add (in front of the ref) the whole game?  Either he is the greatest defender we have ever seen or he is too heavily protected.  Some of the greatest defenders I have ever seen are Walt Frazier, Bill Russell, Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, Dennis Johnson, and Gary Payton (before J. Williams embarrassed him badly).  LeBron isn’t in that league yet, pretty soon he may be, but not now.

I simply believe the referee’s are compensated for their lack of and/or abundance of calls for/against certain teams (coaches/players).  There’s no way around it people.  My rule with referees is “its best if you are unseen and barely heard”.  Let the players decide the game.  Since LeBron has joined the Miami Heat we could probably count on one hand how many times D. Wade and LeBron have had more than (7) fouls combined in one game.  They just now started calling fouls on Kobe and that’s only because Kevin Durant and LeBron are attempting to take the reins from him.

The foul differential in many of these games is ridiculous.  For instance, in the first round series that pitted OKC vs. Dallas.  Dirk Nowitzki was being smacked, grabbed, mugged, and whatever other word you would like to use the whole series.  Through all of that he only shot (49) free throws, yet Kevin Durant of OKC (who did the opposite of Nowitzki and stayed on the perimeter instead of posting up) shot (33) free throws.  That may not seem like a big disparity to some, but to people who are well versed in basketball it’s very significant.  One of the main rules in basketball is to never foul a jump shooter and Durant is just that and he still shot (33) free throws.  I have a big problem with that.

Another great example of the disparity referees are told to create again involves the Pacers and Heat. So far the foul differential in the series is (12) fouls; with Indiana committing (56) fouls and the Heat committing (44) fouls.  What’s the amount of fouls LeBron & Wade have accumulated between those two games you ask? LeBron has (1) foul and Wade has (5) fouls.  If you combine those two numbers it would equal (1) disqualification.  That’s between two people, within two games COMBINED!!  No there’s no pay for play with the referees, no not at all. It’s not a scheme that keeps the “money making” “star” players on the floor, no not at all.

This past Monday Kevin Garnett was called for an illegal screen on the potential game tying possession by the Celtics.  Mind you there were only about (3) such “illegal” screens called the whole game and they were pretty blatant.  Once again the referees are like state troopers who have to make their quota by the end of the month or else they may face serious consequences.  I just want fair play within the game and bottom line no one comes to see you Ref.  Understand this Mr. David Stern you and your band of pay for play referees are ruining the game we love; the best games whether its hockey, basketball, football etc are the games where you cant even tell if there are any referees.  You should keep reading that sentence over and over again and get it through your heads; you are only a miniature necessary evil, PERIOD.

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You will not get a big job done from whom does not want a small one. 

– Albanian proverb

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- Enzo Ferrari 

(1898–1988)

An Italian race car driver and entrepreneur, the founder of the Scuderia Ferrari Grand Prix

motor racing team, and subsequently of the Ferrari car manufacturer.

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Ruffle My Feathers, a weekly sports blog by Justin Lewis

Stern Cold Fools

David Stern and his band of referees (aka Flunkies) for lack of a better word, suck! There’s no need to mince words here.  This year (in the NBA) has been THE worst bit of refereeing I have ever seen within Pro sports.  Players are not aloud to show any emotion during the game nor are they allowed “look” at the referee(s) in a certain way.  What is this, High School? Only the popular kids (Execs & League Officials) get the perks?  Funny thing is the refs are allowed to display all kinds of emotion and put their “feelings” into the equation but the players and coaches must stay reserved.  Their job is to ensure the safety of the players and that there is fair play throughout the contest, THAT’S IT!  No one came to see you jog back and forth in your orthopedics.

One referee in particular is wreaking havoc on the players this year.  He has called technical fouls on players who only said, “That’s a bad call ref.” and “Come on Man.”  Are you kidding me? So its okay for the ref to say whatever they want and blow a call even WITH the assistance of instant replay (where they look over the play like 25 times), but the players are fined and thrown out of games for TALKING to the referees?  I’m so glad equality isn’t lost on these athletes and coaches. No, its not lost at all is it?  (Insert Sarcasm HERE) Well I don’t know about you, but it helps me feel at ease knowing someone OTHER than the coaches and players has the “power” to determine the outcome of the game.  Stern’s buddies also tried to have a fan ejected (removed) from the game because he was “too close to the sideline”.  How about the fact that ALL of the seats on the floor are “too close to the sideline”?  At away games opposing coaches are sitting less than 5-10 feet away from Matt Damon, DJ Khaled, Jack Nicholson, and/or Music Producer/Artist Timbaland.  Give them a break!

No other sport has more restrictions on their players and provides more rights for their referees (to be horrible) than the NBA and its Commissioner David Stern. Baseball players/Managers are allowed to cuss the umpire to high heaven (AFTER they are ejected from the game) for at least 1-2 minutes and hockey players are ALLOWED to fight it out when there is an issue on the ice; and I haven’t seen many hockey coaches get thrown out of games except for the few times they threw a chair ON THE ICE.  Basketball players and coaches are fined $25,000 for “menacing gestures”. Last time I checked a gesture is a form of NON-Verbal communication (Not physically touching anyone).  So now I guess players/coaches must avert their eyes if/when they have an issue, problem or concern with the refs.  These refs think they are above being questioned and Stern is the ring leader.  Something’s gotta be done about this.

Why aren’t referees held accountable for their decisions?  They should not determine the outcome of the game and if they impact the game in a negative fashion they should be fined according to the severity of their mistakes.  These kinds of rules & regulations are essential to sports such as basketball because they have instant replay and if a play occurs and no one saw what happened (how that happens I don’t know because there are (3) referees and each takes an angle/spot on the court so they can all be on one accord if/when they “miss what happened”) they then huddle for a few minutes.  My thing is either you saw what happened or you didn’t.  By huddling for those few minutes they are bringing unnecessary speculation and skepticism into the picture, thus destroying the little confidence players, coaches, and fans had in them in the first place.

• David Stern and the uptight zebras need to bring some more equality into the game because the fines they enforce (In the amounts of $10,000; $25,000; sometimes $50,000) is a crazy amount of money to fine someone because they made a comment about the referee’s “performance”.  Are they saying it’s harder to be a referee (who runs up and down the court blowing a whistle) or a player (who has to walk on egg shells while still being physical and executing their game plan against the best athletes in the world)?  Lets be serious if I curse about or at the referee I deserve to be fined, but if I say “we played against two teams out there this evening and those aren’t favorable odds”; and subsequently I get fined, well that’s just ridiculous!  We are talking about athletes who must uphold an image (where they are forced into being role models), perform at an extremely high level against great competition, and participate in numerous charity opportunities just because they are “rich/privileged athletes”.  That’s a lot of pressure for someone to bear; and to have their performance undermined by some tight pants wearing whistle blower (who they’re not “allowed” to speak to in a certain way) determine the outcome of their future, is extremely unfair!  I say keep your rules where the sun don’t shine!  If I work hard to achieve my dream and you “feel” a certain way about me and make DUMB calls, you better believe I will have something to say.

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